Usually, when I set new years resolutions up for myself, they are nice thoughts but they don't stick and each year I resolve the same things. This year, has been different. Setting new goals for myself each month, specific goals, has made a big difference in my life and the life of our home.
My house is seeing transformation, my relationship with Christ is blossoming and is producing fruit that I have not seen in my life for a very long time. I have been reading more, cooking more, making better choices and finally beginning to feel a sense of purpose and accomplishment.
They say that every new job requires a year of time before you feel settled and know what you are doing. I have found that to be very true in this transition from 12 years of full time work outside of the home to my new job as a stay at home mom and wife. I had no idea how difficult, challenging and rewarding this job would be. I find myself seeking lots of advice from God, from other moms, from family and friends, from the library. I can't think of any other time in my life where I have felt more inadequate than this journey that motherhood has taken me on. How in the world can I be responsible for raising this tiny human being? How am I supposed to decide what is best for her at all times?
As I type this, my 21-month old daughter is sitting down pretending to read a book surrounded by her dolls and teddy bears. I look at her and realize that there is absolutely NOTHING that I can do in my own power for this child that I have been so blessed to care for. God has been so gracious to us.
For a long time, I struggled with being content in life. No longer. I find myself absolutely content and if E is our only baby ever, I am ok with that. If she's not, I'm ok with that too. I'm just happy to be fulfilling my purpose on this planet until I reach the shores of Heaven. My outlook has changed, my goals have changed, my heart has changed and fortunately for me, the only thing that hasn't changed is God. The past six months have been a huge lesson to me. God does not move away from me, I move from Him. He continues to pursue me. I am the one that stopped pursuing. Praise God for grace, mercy and His unending love for those that are His.
On that note, happy March everyone!
No comments:
Post a Comment