Things I've Learned...

Yup... that's me in the middle picture on the far right.. this was in week 2 and that is a 10-pound'er. 

I have been participating in this boot-camp for 5 weeks today. I have learned a lot of things that I want to write down so I never forget them: 

1. Even when I think I can't do one single rep more, God has made my body capable of so much more than my mind allows.

2. Results may not happen right away, but they come with time. They do come.

3. Nothing lays your heart bare like a painful, laborious, hard workout. 

4. I am a walking, breathing (sometimes gasping), living example of Christ to the people around me.

5. Emma is watching my every move, listening to my every word and doing as I do.

These last five weeks have been laden with some of the most physically painful and emotionally difficult days. Aside from the physical pain, I have found myself surprised on more than one occasion by what these workouts bring out in me. 

The good:

1. A feeling of accomplishment and hard work towards my goals

2. The realization that I am setting a good example for Emma and how excited she gets when there is no one else but us there and so that means she gets to "exercise" with Mommy ( very safely, of course)

3. The energy that it gives me every day

4. The lack of cravings for sugar. Working out every day has nixed a lot of my strong cravings for sugar, much to my delightful surprise

5. The encouragement that my husband gives to me, the praise that comes from him not because of my physical appearance, but my level of commitment, endurance and accomplishment. 

The bad:

1. I have snapped at Emma on more than one occasion in the midst of the workout and acted annoyed with her. It would be difficult for any child her age to sit still for an hour, especially for a child that wants to do what everyone else is doing and be a participant. However, it is dangerous...  and so when she walks towards me without asking and I don't see her while I am in the process of flinging a weight over my head, the opportunity for injury is huge... and so when this happens, I have snapped "Emma Sue get back to your play spot right this second." "Emma no! Back to your spot"  "What do you need right now? You are supposed to be sitting down in your spot!" 

2. I have found myself tempted by things I did not expect to be tempted by. I have had to stop myself more than once from cheating ("no one will know if I only did 40.. I just can't do 50), from using language that is inappropriate in my opinion ("oh my God!" "holy crap!" "there is no frickin' way!"). I guess on the bright side I am not tempted to actually cuss! Silver lining?  Hmm... probably not. 

3. I apologize a lot for everything: I'm sorry I smell, I'm sorry I didn't do that right, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.. over and over. If it's becoming annoying to me I can't imagine how it must annoy those around me.

The ugly:

1. I have not made it known that I am a believer. 

2. I have relied more on my own strength than relying on God for the strength. Just think of how much better I could be doing if I prayed before, during and after my workouts? 

3. It took 3 weeks of these workouts before I even realized that I had some heart issues... and I'm not talking about physical heart issues.

Truth is, this has been one of the most spiritually challenging things I have done in a long time. I have surrounded myself in an atmosphere that is not filled wholly with other believers and I am sadly not representing very well. I mean seriously, it takes me 3 weeks to consider the fact that I am in a sort of mission field? That how I treat my daughter, how I complete my workouts, how I interact with others, how I express my exhaustion and frustration... they are all a living testimony to Christ in me? 

It has been a long time since I have been in the workplace and constantly surrounded by others that do not believe and love God like I do. I have forgotten how much prayer is required to keep my guard up, keep my head on straight and keep my heart in the right place. 

This boot-camp is transforming me... but not just physically.. spiritually. It is giving me an opportunity to work out my faith, work out my grief and work out my body.  What an awesome opportunity. 

Lord, help me to be a shining light to your people. Help me to represent you well in all areas of my life!