A little happy after so much gloom!
Thursday, May 16, 2013
No words
Yesterday morning, a man that was a big part of my growing up years passed away.
This man owned a farm. We were neighbors. He was a quiet, hard worker who loved his family, loved his wife and taught me a lot about hard work.
At 12 years old, I drove my first tractor on his farm. I helped plant out in the fields. I drove forklift in the barn and loaded green pepper after green pepper into boxes to be shipped out. I shoveled mounds of dirt with him. I spent a lot of time in their home and he snuck me ice cream bars from their freezer. He had a quiet laugh, smiled a lot and worked a lot harder.
His oldest son was one of my best friends.
We were able to visit him on our trip up to Michigan before this last trip. He met Emma and I was able to see him one last time and for that I am grateful.
These are the times when our faith is made real.
These are the times where questioning produces no good thing. Only faith remains.
"We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed." 2 Cor. 4:8-9
This man owned a farm. We were neighbors. He was a quiet, hard worker who loved his family, loved his wife and taught me a lot about hard work.
At 12 years old, I drove my first tractor on his farm. I helped plant out in the fields. I drove forklift in the barn and loaded green pepper after green pepper into boxes to be shipped out. I shoveled mounds of dirt with him. I spent a lot of time in their home and he snuck me ice cream bars from their freezer. He had a quiet laugh, smiled a lot and worked a lot harder.
His oldest son was one of my best friends.
We were able to visit him on our trip up to Michigan before this last trip. He met Emma and I was able to see him one last time and for that I am grateful.
These are the times when our faith is made real.
These are the times where questioning produces no good thing. Only faith remains.
"We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed." 2 Cor. 4:8-9
Monday, May 13, 2013
Letting Go Some More..
We are back from our trip to Michigan and made it through the funeral for my Aunt Barb. Turns out, Aunt Barb decided to be cremated and so there was no burial procession at the cemetery. Seeing as this was the part I was dreading the most, I was very glad for that.
Thank you to all who prayed!
Our time in Michigan was bittersweet. We had some wonderful time with my Dad and enjoyed a wonderful, cold Saturday together cruising the downtown area, visiting the Planetarium, a street market, a new restaurant, some coffee, the library and then some time at Grandpa & Grandma's house.
This trip was especially hard for me as it was consistently impressed upon my heart that my life in Michigan is a part of my past. It is no longer my present. Cousins that I once held as newborn babies had graduated from high school. Very little was familiar anymore as businesses have come and gone and the town has hit harder times. All of the ladies that were a big part of my growing up years at church are well into their 80's and having a difficult time moving around, seeing, hearing and living. Old friends were too busy with their kids, daily lives and other things to carve out some time to catch up.
I was a stranger. A visitor. It was no longer my home. People talked to me as if I had never lived there and did not know the daily goings on of my own family members.
It was a hard realization to come to. My life in Michigan now revolves simply around visiting my Dad and my grandparents for as long as they are here.
Seeing my Grandpa with the signature bald head that comes from cancer treatments. Having to speak extra loud with all of the people we visited with.
My past is growing older.
I feel a significant sense of loss as to what this all means now. My past was such a big part of who I am and where I came from and now it is simply.. the past.
It is time to simply focus on the here and now and plan a future without my past.
My life is very different now than what it was when I lived in Michigan. 15 years ago I left that life and it is just now that I feel like that life is gone.
It is really hard to let go.
It is time to look forward and determine what God has planned out for the rest of my life and to look wistfully back and say goodbye to the past that is tied up in 5 headstones with more to come in the not so distant future.
This sounds more dismal than it really is. It is a process of letting go of a lot of things. Letting go of grief. Letting go of my Mom. Letting go of my old life. Letting go and letting God fill my life with new memories and new loves.
It is exciting and I know that once I get through this pit of sadness, the excitement will kick in.
I am looking forward to that.
Thank you to all who prayed!
Our time in Michigan was bittersweet. We had some wonderful time with my Dad and enjoyed a wonderful, cold Saturday together cruising the downtown area, visiting the Planetarium, a street market, a new restaurant, some coffee, the library and then some time at Grandpa & Grandma's house.
This trip was especially hard for me as it was consistently impressed upon my heart that my life in Michigan is a part of my past. It is no longer my present. Cousins that I once held as newborn babies had graduated from high school. Very little was familiar anymore as businesses have come and gone and the town has hit harder times. All of the ladies that were a big part of my growing up years at church are well into their 80's and having a difficult time moving around, seeing, hearing and living. Old friends were too busy with their kids, daily lives and other things to carve out some time to catch up.
I was a stranger. A visitor. It was no longer my home. People talked to me as if I had never lived there and did not know the daily goings on of my own family members.
It was a hard realization to come to. My life in Michigan now revolves simply around visiting my Dad and my grandparents for as long as they are here.
Seeing my Grandpa with the signature bald head that comes from cancer treatments. Having to speak extra loud with all of the people we visited with.
My past is growing older.
I feel a significant sense of loss as to what this all means now. My past was such a big part of who I am and where I came from and now it is simply.. the past.
It is time to simply focus on the here and now and plan a future without my past.
My life is very different now than what it was when I lived in Michigan. 15 years ago I left that life and it is just now that I feel like that life is gone.
It is really hard to let go.
It is time to look forward and determine what God has planned out for the rest of my life and to look wistfully back and say goodbye to the past that is tied up in 5 headstones with more to come in the not so distant future.
This sounds more dismal than it really is. It is a process of letting go of a lot of things. Letting go of grief. Letting go of my Mom. Letting go of my old life. Letting go and letting God fill my life with new memories and new loves.
It is exciting and I know that once I get through this pit of sadness, the excitement will kick in.
I am looking forward to that.
Monday, May 6, 2013
Well... that didn't go as planned
How many of you reading this can think back at a time in your life when things did not go as you planned? Do you feel as I do that it would be more appropriate to try to pinpoint something in your life that did go as planned?
God is allowing my world to be rocked. Again.
Yet, my heart is more full than it has been in a very long time. My relationship with my Savior and my King is at an all-time high.
One thing is for sure... there is no argument that can dispel the truth of Gods love. To the world, death means despair. With God, death brings hope and a reminder that this life is short and this life is not what it is all about anyway.
This past weekend was a tough one for me.
My Aunt Barb, my moms sister, passed away after a long battle with leukemia.
A close friend gave me news that may require a move very far away.
I had a very fun and special experience with my sister that left me realizing that in a few short months, she will be living 7 hours away from me
All of these things have good in them. One is no longer suffering, one may embarking on a new adventure and another will be living out the desires of her heart that have not been realized for a very long time.
While I rejoice in their rejoicing, I also hurt with them.
Deep down. I'm selfish. I don't want to attend the funeral of my Moms sister and watch as she is laid in the ground next to my moms grave. I don't want to face having to look down and see not one, but five burial spots next to each other with the names of the people I loved on them and that new looking plate on there with the year of their death.
Mike Monville, Barb Rotarius, Faye Davenport, Evelyn Monville, Morris Monville.
Uncle Mike, Aunt Bubba, Mommy, Grandma M, Grandpa M.
I don't want my close friend to move away. I pray it does not happen but I know that if it does that there will be a very sad Risheill family. It is exciting that they will be on a great adventure and be living out something they have always thought about doing... sometimes circumstances force big changes.
I don't want my sister to live 7 hours from me. My heart rejoices that she has found love and that God has answered this desire of her heart. I just wish he didn't live in North Carolina. It will be a beautiful place for her to live and she will have the excitement of a big move and a big change in her life and I am excited for her. It is just hard to let go.
If I had to choose a theme for my adult life I think it would be: Letting Go
And yet
I have Christopher. The love of my life and my best friend.
I have Emma. A healthy, just shy of 3-years old, amazing, beautiful, sweet, gentle, compassionate and entertaining daughter.
I have an amazing Dad who continues to share his wisdom and Spiritual knowledge with me and continues to offer me his friendship and not just his position as my Dad.
I have an amazing Dad-in-law that goes out of his way to spoil us on every occasion, who loves nothing more than to just be with us and who is interested in every area of our lives.
We are blessed. Even when my heart feels like it is being squeezed and my selfish heart tells me that life is not fair... God reminds me that we are blessed and that in the end, it was never His intention for us to be experiencing such pain in this life and that someday.... it will be over.
Some day death will be done with.
Some day saying goodbye will not be a part of our lives.
Some day, I won't have to be scared that my unsaved family and friends will die without knowing Christ.
Some day there will be no more funerals, no more burials, no more grief, no more loss..
No more sin.
Come quickly Lord.
God is allowing my world to be rocked. Again.
Yet, my heart is more full than it has been in a very long time. My relationship with my Savior and my King is at an all-time high.
One thing is for sure... there is no argument that can dispel the truth of Gods love. To the world, death means despair. With God, death brings hope and a reminder that this life is short and this life is not what it is all about anyway.
This past weekend was a tough one for me.
My Aunt Barb, my moms sister, passed away after a long battle with leukemia.
A close friend gave me news that may require a move very far away.
I had a very fun and special experience with my sister that left me realizing that in a few short months, she will be living 7 hours away from me
All of these things have good in them. One is no longer suffering, one may embarking on a new adventure and another will be living out the desires of her heart that have not been realized for a very long time.
While I rejoice in their rejoicing, I also hurt with them.
Deep down. I'm selfish. I don't want to attend the funeral of my Moms sister and watch as she is laid in the ground next to my moms grave. I don't want to face having to look down and see not one, but five burial spots next to each other with the names of the people I loved on them and that new looking plate on there with the year of their death.
Mike Monville, Barb Rotarius, Faye Davenport, Evelyn Monville, Morris Monville.
Uncle Mike, Aunt Bubba, Mommy, Grandma M, Grandpa M.
I don't want my close friend to move away. I pray it does not happen but I know that if it does that there will be a very sad Risheill family. It is exciting that they will be on a great adventure and be living out something they have always thought about doing... sometimes circumstances force big changes.
I don't want my sister to live 7 hours from me. My heart rejoices that she has found love and that God has answered this desire of her heart. I just wish he didn't live in North Carolina. It will be a beautiful place for her to live and she will have the excitement of a big move and a big change in her life and I am excited for her. It is just hard to let go.
If I had to choose a theme for my adult life I think it would be: Letting Go
And yet
I have Christopher. The love of my life and my best friend.
I have Emma. A healthy, just shy of 3-years old, amazing, beautiful, sweet, gentle, compassionate and entertaining daughter.
I have an amazing Dad who continues to share his wisdom and Spiritual knowledge with me and continues to offer me his friendship and not just his position as my Dad.
I have an amazing Dad-in-law that goes out of his way to spoil us on every occasion, who loves nothing more than to just be with us and who is interested in every area of our lives.
We are blessed. Even when my heart feels like it is being squeezed and my selfish heart tells me that life is not fair... God reminds me that we are blessed and that in the end, it was never His intention for us to be experiencing such pain in this life and that someday.... it will be over.
Some day death will be done with.
Some day saying goodbye will not be a part of our lives.
Some day, I won't have to be scared that my unsaved family and friends will die without knowing Christ.
Some day there will be no more funerals, no more burials, no more grief, no more loss..
No more sin.
Come quickly Lord.
Friday, April 12, 2013
Weekend with Papa
This past weekend was a big weekend for the Risheill clan.
Papa came down from Michigan and we were able to meet Aunt Seppie's new boyfriend, Steven.
Papa D came down Friday afternoon and we met up with him, Stephanie and Steven at the zoo for a little while:
We were not at the zoo for very long but it was a beautiful day so I am glad that we were able to introduce Steven to the Columbus Zoo and have a nice place for us all to meet. Emma enjoyed having lots of attention from so many of her favorite people!
We returned home and made some dinner:
The next day, Papa, Chris, Emma and I headed back to the zoo to finish seeing everything we did not see the day before!
Aunt Seppie met back up with us around nap time. Dad (Papa) took us all out for a nice dinner and then we played some games and headed to bed. We enjoyed a nice Sunday morning service together, a yummy crockpot meatloaf lunch, one last game and then it was time for the goodbyes :(
We always love spending time with my Dad and it was nice to meet Stephanie's new boyfriend. A fun weekend overall :)
Papa came down from Michigan and we were able to meet Aunt Seppie's new boyfriend, Steven.
Papa D came down Friday afternoon and we met up with him, Stephanie and Steven at the zoo for a little while:
We were not at the zoo for very long but it was a beautiful day so I am glad that we were able to introduce Steven to the Columbus Zoo and have a nice place for us all to meet. Emma enjoyed having lots of attention from so many of her favorite people!
We returned home and made some dinner:
(This is Steven ^^ )
Then we played some games:
and said goodnight to Stephanie and Steven as they headed out.
The next day, Papa, Chris, Emma and I headed back to the zoo to finish seeing everything we did not see the day before!
We always love spending time with my Dad and it was nice to meet Stephanie's new boyfriend. A fun weekend overall :)
March Madness
March, March, March.
What a month.
I tell you what. 2013 has not been what I was expecting at all. Isn't that the way life goes though?
March brought with it: Chaos
From the crazy back and forth of the weather, to health emergencies on both sides of the family, to Emma's first mild concussion, to constant doctors visits for different family members, and the list goes on. Chaos!
In the midst of the chaos were some fun times and some more of Mommy getting used to having an almost three year old daughter. One of these days, I will get over the fact that she is not a little baby anymore :)
So, here are the lighter moments of our March:
What a month.
I tell you what. 2013 has not been what I was expecting at all. Isn't that the way life goes though?
March brought with it: Chaos
From the crazy back and forth of the weather, to health emergencies on both sides of the family, to Emma's first mild concussion, to constant doctors visits for different family members, and the list goes on. Chaos!
In the midst of the chaos were some fun times and some more of Mommy getting used to having an almost three year old daughter. One of these days, I will get over the fact that she is not a little baby anymore :)
So, here are the lighter moments of our March:
April Goals
In 2011, a friend and I decided to begin sending each other our daily/weekly/monthly goals and it changed my stay-at-home mom life! With the addition of more children and Emma turning into a busy toddler, this kind of died off. So, coincidentally, did my ability to accomplish things on a regular basis in our home :)
So, we bring back the goals. I started in February and actually accomplished a lot (included my 20 bags of items to be donated Joanna!) :)
So I am starting them up again and I am going to post them here every month to keep better track of everything and have a little extra accountability. Here we go!
April Goals
Daily Goals
- Wake up at 6:30 a.m. for devotions and prayer time
- Finish Creative Correction devotional
- Finish Victoriously Frazzled devotional
- Being Proverbs 31 w/ my sister
- Do dishes and keep counter-tops clean in the kitchen
- Make the beds after Chris leaves for work
- Teach Emma to make her own bed every morning
- Drink 48-64 ounces of water
Projects for the home
- Prep, paint guest bathroom
- Hang curtains in Emma's closet
- Decide on food supply for emergency preparations
- Hang curtain rod/curtains in guest bedroom
Projects for the person
- Turbo Jam 4-5 days a week
- Begin a personal journal
- Start and finish 1 sewing project
- Wear perfume every day
There we have it! Seems reasonable and I will keep updating this through the rest of the month on here to help remind me to get my bottom in gear ;)
Happy April!
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